Called, Chosen, Wanted

 

It’s been 4 weeks since my last posting, and a lot has changed!!!! I’m so excited to share as before I know many times I had to answer that we were on hold. Not only can I say that we are "un paused", but we also immersed ourselves deeply into what is called the home study.

Here’s what’s going on……..

Jeff and I have contacted our bosses to write a letter for us! How nice right?! They are to state how long we’re worked there, what we are getting paid, and that we will be working there for a long time in the future. No pressure boss ;) When I told her the last part she laughed. I hope that was a good thing.

We've  also asked friends, family to write letters to our agency talking about how great parents we will be.

So far pretty easy right?!

Ok now we’ve had our insurance write a letter. This was a little harder. Anyone ever work with insurance before? Well in my experience it involves being transferred and put on hold a lot. Our insurance needs to state the following: Our child will be covered once they become a family member. Our child will be covered with preexisting conditions. What insurance considers a preexisting condition. Finally, our insurance agency guided us to HR which is was working very well with us. Shortly after the letter arrived safely in the mail.

Well Water was checked, Doctors cleared us to be fit for parenting, and we found a day care that we are in love with. What an experience! The first few I went to, after I would leave, come home and asked Jeff how I could possibly leave our little one at a day care while we were at work. I flirted with the idea of staying home. This must go through other mom’s minds as when I visited the last day care my thoughts had completely changed. By the time I left I was actually excited for them to go there! I guess the difference was the people who acknowledged me, the amazing one on one they have with each child that included individual learning goals and the security they had. Whew! What a strange feeling to think about your child at day care when you haven’t met them yet. These are just a few of the items Jeff and I have done of the last month. It can become overwhelming at times but it’s just paperwork like any other. When you have a list of things to do and you think about it all at once who wouldn’t get stressed?! But it’s a list and lists can get done.

Tip- Expect delays and give yourself plenty of time.

To recap above, well water took 3 weeks, touring daycares….and Getting very detailed physicals (pretty sure we’ll be good for 5 years with all the tests they did) takes time. We also have written autobiography’s, and filled out a folder of paperwork that included very personal history of school (what type of student were you……in elementary school) Like I remember? Family health history, types of parents we have and the kind of person I am.

So, like I said, this paperwork can seem overwhelming and tedious at times, here's comforting news, I did all of this in a month. Mind you Jeff and I work full time, it’s hunting season and I was still able to keep up my running!

Tip 2- Focus on something you enjoy that you can see a progress in.

In a previous post I wrote about how I felt nothing has changed. It’s very hard to see progress in the process although it is hidden there. I began to focus more on running. It keeps me positive as I can see myself each week running longer and harder. I feel each night I have accomplished something that day and I end up feeling less stressed.  

I’m a person who gets anxious when they aren’t in control of something. My husband laughs at that statement because it’s true. Not having an exact “due date” or knowing if our paperwork will be accepted gets me kind of anxious! So I needed to take on a hobby that made me feel in control. Running was my answer but maybe learning something could be for you. No matter what it is try to choose something that can better yourself and challenge yourself so that you know you are always moving forward.

Tip 3- Surround yourself with supportive friends and family.

Jeff and I were called to adoption. When I say called I mean the deepest part of my heart and soul wholly believes we were chosen, selected, and wanted for Gods plan to change the lives not only of ours but the ones touched by our child’s story. Jeff and I are moved with strength to wholeheartedly commit to bringing our child home no matter what circumstances come in the way. Life isn’t easy it never is and I’m surprised when something this amazing happens, some are so quick to doubt and throw negativity in the air.

IT WILL TAKE TIME…..IT WILL COST MONEY….IT WILL BE SCARY.

I’ve learned long ago to keep those close to you who are supportive and to unfortunately let go of the ones who put unnecessary fears in your head. When you find the path your heart leads you to, you don’t need anyone’s approval. They don’t need to understand your story they don’t need to know all your answers; you don’t need their “other options”. I was called to be a mother and My child is in China. Whatever your story is or what you were called to, you need to hold on, and visualize your journey because you are the only one that can keep you from reaching your dream.

I’ve had people say “if you become pregnant, then you don’t have to go to china!”

This is not about having a kid; this is about my child who is out there waiting for me. Hold on with your heart but also allow your supportive friends and family to be included in the journey. The questions they ask may sometimes seem strange but they ask because they care are excited and they want to understand what you are going through. Share your story.

Tip 4 Lean on God

When we are chosen, we are chosen so that we can be used for His Glory. When we pray and seek for miracles and ask for answers he uses each and every one of us to answer for Him, that is if we let Him. Let me show you. Back in an old post I may have talked about my “How’s?” when we first started this adoption journey. You all answered our prayers. You called, texted, wrote words of encouragement. You donated, came up with fundraisers and gave me your hand. When I prayed he sent you to show me He was with me and will be with me all through up to the day I will hold my child, and forever after.

In a recent read, I came across Life Hope and Truth by John Foster. He spoke of being called and being chosen. “The called and chosen must be faithful! They must continue to actively believe, obey and rely on God. The called and chosen will need to faithfully endure both in the good and in bad times.”

Don’t be weary and take on doubt when something you believe is your path becomes hard and or testing. Your calling, sorry to say, might not be to better you, (give you praise and riches) it might be to restore the faith of another, to change the darkness in a stranger or to open the eyes of the world to the possibility of peace in darkness.

Tip 5 Pray

Days go by, seasons change and my exceptionally caring friends ask when they get to meet our missing piece. 12 months may still go by and I might have a photo but that doesn’t change the fact that I feel close to him or her. I talk to them every night. I Lay my head on my pillow close my eyes and pray. I pray they are warm, fed, loved.  I whisper encouraging comments pretending they might hear. “Be brave little one, I will be with you soon.” Pray, every day pray.

Many question why it takes so long and I quickly answer that besides the 12month paper chase we have to be age 30. Today a new friend in my life told me it takes this long because God isn’t done working yet.

 My new reason to praise this journey.

I pray for you and your journey so that you know, God’s not done working yet.