Please Have Your Number 2 Pencils Ready

A week ago, I was outside doing yard work literally in shorts and tank top for 4 hours. Today I could have worn my winter jacket and gloves. Remember a previous post about me wondering how long I would be able to enjoy a cozy wood burning fire? Well today is April 30^th and our home is heated by one. I took this opportunity of bad weather and stuck my head into my bible study. This week’s study started off with temptation and our ability to overcome it through our act of choice. I always related temptation to something physically evil or bad. I’m sure we all remember how Satan Tempted Eve with the apple. But then the study turned into spiritual tests.

Now when I think of the word test I picture the setting of a classroom where the room falls so silent I’m afraid the noise of me swallowing will get me into trouble. You look at the stapled pieces of paper and begin quickly pulling all knowledge out of your head that you have crammed in the weeks prior and try to remain calm. Not only are you expected to pass this exam but you also are timed. I once had a teacher who would stand behind students when there were minutes left. She would just stare at them and breath on them. Oh, my Lord I could just sweat just thinking about that.

So now I come across this lesson about spiritual tests and it all flashes back to me. Did I study enough?  Am I prepared? What is this test about, and when will I be tested? 

Here’s a simple answer that will help during these lifelong trials.

Know the Word. Know the Truth, and live it.

Almost of the examples given in this week’s lesson were during times people called to God and asked for help. God knew he could jump to their aide but He waited. In one of my favorite books of the bible Job whom suffered a great deal being tormented by the devil. Job was asked by his wife, “Why don’t you curse God and die?” Kind of like why don’t you forget this guy? He obviously has forgotten about you, stop your suffering and just end your life. 

Job replies, “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”

There is no good without bad, there are no lessons without mistakes and there is no growth without challenge. Job was a wise man he knew he was being tested even when his friends tried to convince him all the bad doings happening to him were punishments for something Job, Himself had done. Job didn’t believe them and trusted his God with His plan. He stayed strong, he stayed faithful and he kept living the word.

Spoiler Alert! Job was rewarded.

Jesus was a great teacher. He had the spirit of God in Him and wanted the world to know His love as well. He tested and tried his disciples often, just like any good teacher should do. He couldn’t just give out the answers He needed his followers to be able to find the correct answers on their own, so he tested them,  just like we are tested today.

You can’t just hear the word, you need to KNOW the word. You can’t just Hear of God. You need to know him.

So now I’m feeling a little more at ease! I mean my teacher for these spiritual tests are my Lord who is forgiving and loving! Not that teacher who breathed on my neck warning me I had 2 minutes left! Our tests are not pass or fail with Him. He uses theses hardships to see how far we have come.

Deuteronomy 8:2 “Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands”

Test you in order to know what was in your heart.

People are different when they lose everything. When things don’t go their way. Even when they have a bad day. Where do you fall into play when you come across such an encounter? Are you easily seduced to lose faith? Are you more willing to get angry and fall into old sinful habits?

 Let’s say you had a healthy successful year with a bright upcoming future and one day you get hit with a barrier. Would you blame God for your troubles? Or are you strong enough to hold off the lured curiosity of temptations.

He wants to see how far we have come and needs to know how He can help us grow more. Don’t be afraid of number 2 pencils and a room full of scholars waiting and anticipating for you to screw up! We are humans! We stumble and make mistakes all the time! He tests us in areas we need work on.  These trials may not be big massive life changing events either, they could be part of your week, part of your day. Have you been challenged lately? Did you have a recent feeling in the pit of your stomach that you should have done something differently? That you wish you would have solved a situation more smoothly?

Don’t ask for greatness and your life to be better if you aren’t willing to be tested. He knows exactly what we need at exactly the right time.

I suppose this week lesson was fitting for me. Here I wait for my little one with no budge in the process. We wait until July (2 months) until Jeff is 30 to submit our paper, only then wait to be matched and then wait some more………

He longed to be a part of my life more so August 2015 He closed the door that kept me away from Him. He forced me to seek him and ask for help when I couldn’t carry my child. He knew this obstacle would break me, but He also knew it would Save me. I think if I became pregnant I wouldn’t know what is was like to lose everything, I wouldn’t know I didn’t have everything. I wouldn’t have grown to know that there was courage hidden in my fear. Strength buried in my flaws and freedom enslaved in my doubts.

I close my eyes. I wait next to Him like a child sitting on the edge of a dock awaiting the sun set. Watching over the birds beginning to find rest and the fireflies that keep you guessing their path.  I picture us sharing only the evening hour and I breathe deep as no words are exchanged. It brings me peace knowing He waits with me.  I sit next to him like a child, Him the Teacher and I wait for guidance.

I know He has the works to place my child in my arms at any time and yet He waits.

 So, I wait.